Climate Change Killed The Aliens, Not Will Smith or Sigourney Weaver

The Lukewarmer's Way

Jodi Foster, take off the sunhat and walk away from the array. They’re not out there anymore. It were climate change that done for them. Will Smith, put away that cigar. You didn’t earn  it. It were climate change that done for them. Sigourney, get out of that exoskeleton and quit yelling ‘Get away from her, you bitch!” Unnecessary. It were climate change that done for them.

All of you letting the folks at SETI use your computer–reclaim your flops! They’re not going to find anything. No Wookies, no cookies, no gripping hand. Richard Dreyfuss can eat those goddam mashed potatoes instead of using them for finger art.

Climate change might have killed most extraterrestrial life forms in the universe, with planets burned by greenhouse gases and frozen by a harsh environment.

Despite lack of concrete proof that extraterrestrial life exists, astronomers at the Australian National University (ANU)…

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